Hello Shoes

Mim said:

You posted! My Yahoo! told me you had 2 Hello world! entries. Doood at first I thought it was a mistake. Turns out they’re different. I totally need advice though. I think I need new shoes. What do you think? 😀

Women need shoes and that’s no joke. Cover your essentials first. If you’re missing (or need to replace) any of the following, get to it.

Type Max Number Example Purpose Got it?
Sneakers 1 Firming that ass
Sandals 2 Casual flirty look
Boots 1 So you can actually be knocking the boots
Dress 2 Formal events
Ballbusters 0 No one wearing these are getting anywhere near my boys.

Originally I contracted an artist to sketch up representations of the shoes, but this is what he came up with for a boot:
That’s a penis, not a boot! Fucking contractors.
If you’ve got all the essentials covered, the only shoes that you can really possibly need are fuck me heels – can’t ever have enough of those. Don’t underestimate the impact of these shoes of your life. These visuals will make you a believer:

Without Heels With Heels

’nuff said.


That’s a great picture of Nick Nolte. Nice belt. I think you should pay the “contractor” extra:p

Also, I think from your list I need MANY pairs of shoes, not just one. OOOOOOH YES!!!! 😀

Posted by mim on 3 April 2006 @ 2am

Hahahahaa! OMG my tummy hurts. You’re not very nice. Man, wut if my boss were to walk in on me?? Lucky for me, she’s on vacation.

Posted by ct on 3 April 2006 @ 7am

The first part of this post reads like a women’s magazine.

Posted by neb on 3 April 2006 @ 1pm

Hmmm…first off the yasmine bleeth pic is awesome!! Heels do the trick, just don’t use ’em as stakes to nail guys’ balls down. oh and if you ever watched ‘single white female’ they are not good for the eye either.

Girls please pay attention to what coke can do to you…in the case of both Yasmine Bleeth and Nick Nolte.

On boots, please add FMB’s to collection and when we ask you to put them on for sex don’t ask why.

Posted by Al on 3 April 2006 @ 2pm

What about work shoes? Everyone needs like a bajillion pairs fo those. In fact, I’d say the majority fall under that category since y’know, they gotta match the work outfits and plus you have to wear them everyday.

Posted by ct on 4 April 2006 @ 9am

Maybe there should be a listing for pumps/flats, but there’s no reason why you couldn’t wear sneakers (for casual workspaces), boots, or sandals as part of your work attire. Yah, a bajillion pairs for “work”. Maybe if you were talking about FMBs. I can’t believe I forgot those, I’m losing it.

Posted by yut on 4 April 2006 @ 9am

ahh, the same reasoning i got from Julie. “I need work shoes!” Then I go over and see 50 pairs of shoes she doesn’t wear anymore. Ever wonder why guys have no sympathy? It’s cuz we have 3 or 4 pairs of shoes. Tennis shoes, flip flops, another pair of flip flops and that 1 pair of dress shoes used for funerals/weddings. Well, maybe not that simple, but pretty much how it is.

Yutin also forgot his stripper heels with the 6 inch heels and clear platforms with goldfish inside!

Posted by Al on 4 April 2006 @ 10am

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